Sometimes we forget the importance of friendship. Our lives are so busy with details that we deem important that friendships get pushed to the back only to be dug out when we have nothing to do, are going through a difficult time and need someone to prop us up, or when we need something. Then, we reach into the friendship closet, pull out the friend we need, dust them off and give them a call.
I know this is not what God intended friendships to be about. This is how God intended friendships to work:
The Thanksgiving meal for Andy's family begins the same way each & every year: standing in a circle, holding hands while Pumper (Andy's grandfather) says the blessing. This year was no different but before Pumper blessed the food, he spoke about the importance of friendship. Pumper spoke about a friend who had recently passed away due to complications from Alzheimer's disease - a man who he had been friends with since going to camp as a young boy in the 1930's. A friendship that had endured 70+ years, hundreds of miles, wars, marriages, divorces, illnesses and who knows what else. A friendship, that even though many, many miles separated these 2 men, of endurance and monthly telephone calls to talk, laugh and express love for one another. As Pumper spoke about the importance of friendship, many thoughts popped into my head. Two main thoughts jumped out at me: 1) Andy has a friendship that is very similar to the one Pumper spoke about and I do not; and 2) friendship is not about convenience, it is about being intentional.
There are many different "friends" who will come into our lives - sometimes we too quickly assign the status of "friend" to an acquaintance; other times we hold onto friendships too long; and yet many, many times we shove some of our deepest, strongest friendships to the back of the friendship closet only taking these friends out when we need them. Convenience not intentional.
I have not been a good friend - I will admit this, most of my friendships are convenience not intentional in nature. Andy & I talk a lot about being intentional in our lives - intentional in our relationships with others, not shutting ourselves off and getting wrapped up in our circumstances. Circumstances will come and go but they should not rule how we interact with our friends. Friendships are the balm of life - they make things better.
I do believe we too quickly assign "friend" status to individuals who are acquaintances. If individuals are on the fringe of your life would you trust them with your treasure? Friendship to me is a treasure from God - I would rather have a few deep, meaningful friendships than spread myself thin with 10's of "friendships" that are not intentional in nature.
I know that it is only the end of November but I am stating here that my resolution/word for 2011 is : INTENTIONAL FRIENDSHIP.
Thank you Pumper for reminding us all of one of God's greatest treasure - a friend.
"A man with many friends may be harmed, but there is a friend who stays closer than a brother." ~ Proverbs 18:24
1 comment:
oh Meg- what a sweet post. I would add that one thing that is so hard to do when trying to form intentional friendships is to be REAL. Being transparent is what others need from us so that they can pray for us and help us stay accountable to the Word and it is ALSO how others know that they can be real with us. The sharing of burdens and joys is what makes real and lasting friendships. I am so blessed to have GOOD girlfriends in my life that would absolutely go the distance with me!
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