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This morning, during my "quiet time" in which I work on the Digging Deeper question & the related Bible verse for the day, I felt a strong pull to post about it.

The Bible verse was James 3:16 - For where you have envy and selfish ambition, then you find disorder and every evil practice. The question to ponder today in relation to the verse was "In a world that says "Me First", what kind of outcomes should we expect?

This really hit me hard this morning (and it was early, like 6:30am). Why is putting others first so hard to do? Why is not thinking about yourself first the last thing most people do? Why does the "Me First" attitude drag down even the most flexible, hard working, team oriented individual?

Over the course of the last year, Andy & I have been through many ups and downs; participated in Marriage Matters; and, have seen a marriage counselor. It was through our marriage counselor that we learned about being "Otherish". Since Bill introduced this concept to us, I have recognized this more & more in Andy & I; I have recognized it more in others. For some people, I believe this is an innate trait - we all know these people, they are part of our lives and they radiate with genuine joy & happiness. For others, like myself (I will not speak for Andy), we have to learn this; practice it on a daily basis; fail and succeed in terms of being "Otherish"; and continue to move down the path of putting others first.

Within the last few months, I have found myself thinking less about myself and more about I can help others. Where can I assist them - running an errand; stopping by for a quick visit & not freaking out when I am there longer than intended; an extra set of ears; a sounding board; or, just a friend/loved one that accepts them unconditionally? I have felt more peace recently when I set aside my wants/needs and focus on others.

I have had several jobs where I have seen James 3:16 personified. The "Me First" attitude can suck the life out of the most flexible and team-oriented person...the "Me First" environment slowly eats away at you until one day you realize that you do not know who you are because you have become a "Me First" to survive. It is so draining to live day-to-day "Me First", it wears you down until you do not even like yourself any longer or recognize the person in the mirror.

I know some of you are thinking "Won't I just be treated like a doormat by others?" or "What if people think I am naive?" Just because you practice being "Otherish", it does not mean you forget how to say "No" or stand up for yourself. I feel like you learn who you really are and what your boundaries are in terms of being "Otherish". I hope if you try to be "Otherish" that you will connect with a sense of peace that comes from following in the steps of someone greater than ourselves...God is not a God of disorder but of peace...

It is hard to put others ahead of ones self - but if we can do it with our relationship with God, then we can do it with others. Start slowly, one person at time, one day at a time. Pretty soon, you will be "Otherish" on a daily basis without even thinking about it.